A Resolution for January.

So, I’m a little late to the Resolution Revamp party due to my completely retarded computer savvy.  (And before you cringe at that statement, I mean to use the word “retarded” in its actual meaning, not as a derogatory slur.)  I, as many of you out there, have a very uncomfortable relationship with New Year Resolutions.  So, in an effort to be respectful of that relationship, I am choosing to not make a list of resolutions this year.  Instead, I am going to periodically choose some way of bettering my Self and/or my life, and document it for posterity.  My hope is that in doing so, I will A.) be able to reflect on how my choices and actions form my daily experience, and B.) offer up some inspiration on how you might find a little more growth, joy, ease in your life, as well.

Today’s ‘resolution’ centers on framing.  No, I don’t mean creating a pleasing surround for a portrait or painting.  What I refer to here is the way in which I choose to view a given experience or situation.  I believe that the best way to actualize resolutions, or goals, is to address them in very specific ways.  Instead of making the vague statement that I will begin to re-frame my perspectives of all my experiences, I am choosing to change the way I frame one particular experience in my life right now – my school experience.

Some of you may know that I am currently enrolled in an esthetics training program at the local community college.  The experience, thus far, has been disappointing for me.  Not wanting to come back to the same disappointment following winter break, I made the decision to try to re-frame the way I view this experience.  As I began to explore what might be the root of the problem causing the unpleasant symptoms of disappointment, defeatism and foul attitude, I realized that the school program is not the problem at all.  The real issue in play here is my reaction to my unmet  expectations of what I believed this experience would/should be.  My reaction is something over which I have control.  And there’s the A-HA!

Rather than gripe about what the program isn’t giving me, I’m trying to focus on how I can get as much from it as possible while also contributing to the collaborative experience in the best way I can.  So far it seems to be working.  My school experience is still not ideal, but it’s a million times more enjoyable than it was before the winter break.  I am learning more and smiling more and sharing more.  And that, to me, is what resolutions are all about:  making life a little more enjoyable.

Have any of you had any similar experiences with changing your framing of a given experience or situation?  Please share if you do.  I’d love to hear about it.

Happy January!

xoxo,

Melanie

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4 comments

  1. Alright! You made it. I’m looking forward to seeing the different ways you choose to reflect and change. No matter when it occurs this year!

  2. Oh, and to answer your question: As cheesy as it sounds, parenthood has forced me to re-frame my whole outlook on dealing with people. Feeling as if EVERYTHING I do might eventually have some bearing on who he turns out to be, in addition to considering the era, lifestyle, and society he was born into, makes me realize that people we deem as “ignorant” or “mean” or even “intelligent” and “grounded” may not be solely a product of who they choose to be as adults. There are a lot of factors that create a person and their outlook on the world. To approach any social interaction with an understanding of that may change the encounter, hopefully for the better.

  3. The project I just posted about is the result-in-progress of a few reframings for me, also in the context of a “formal” education. I went to Nashville all bright eyed to learn the ropes of the technical side of making records. Did that, while watching my future job market go belly up, literally and figuratively. Reframe. There is still more to learn. Go to Australia to continue my education. Get there and I’m not learning from the school. I know more than the staff I’m supposed to ask for help and guidance. Other issues with the administraton and curriculum. What am I gonna do? Pack up and go the 7,000 miles home? NO WAY! I live 5 min from an amazing beach and awesome part of the world. Reframe. I’m renting studio time on equipment that no one would ever let me just play around with (literally millions of dollars worth of gear). Screw the curriculum. I’m teaching myself what I want to learn, in a way that no school ever could. In the meantime I accomplish more than I realize. I gain technical knowhow (that’s the plan) as well as develop my creative toolbox to utilize the knowledge. I also grew as a person from situations I wouldn’t have experienced if I was doing homework. I discover food, and it is good. So good it makes my whole life better. Fast forward a few years. This toolbox/skill combo I assembled was meant to be used to meet other peoples goals. In reality I’m shy tens-to-hundreds of thousands of dollars in hardware to really have a go at that. Reframe. Now it’s for me and my goals and it’s just about everything I need it to be.

    I spent this past weekend (and then some) watching a conference hosted by the Dalai Lama, http://dalailama.com/webcasts/post/273-mind-and-life-xxvi-mind-brain-and-matter—critical-conversations-between-buddhist-thought-and-science. There was a TON of amazing info presented from leading physicists, neuroscientists, philosophers, etc.. The single most important/profound bit was nothing more than a simple statement by a neuroscientist. “Happiness is a skill” We all have all the pieces needed for happiness. Right. Now. It’s our mind. One just needs to learn to use it. All that takes is time and motivation. Smiling is an excellent start. One with proven benefits. 🙂

  4. I have had to reframe my concept of what special needs really means. Last year my son, Christopher, was diagnosed with SPD and PDD-NOS. Because I am a researcher, avid reader and loving mom all those letters sent me straight to the books to learn everything I could about his disorders. I struggled with calling him a special needs kid because to me he was just a “normal” little boy. It wasn’t long before I realized the term fits him, I just needed to deal with my own misguided prejudice of the term. He is special and he has needs that have to be met in order for him to function in a typical world. I wouldn’t want him to be anything but what he is – my sweet, active, loving, creative, funny, smart boy!

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